![]() ![]() The second approach takes a wider view, and counts even “normal” romantic passions as being chemically and behaviorally analogous to addiction (e.g., Fisher et al. Research in this vein focuses on sexual compulsions, paedophilia, toxic or abusive relationships, abnormal attachments and unhealthy tolerance of negative life- and relationship outcomes (e.g., Carnes 2005 Reynaud et al. The first approach counts only the most extreme cases (or phases) of love and love-related behaviors as being potential instances of addiction. While the specific nature of these parallels has been described in inconsistent language throughout the literature, two main approaches to conceptualizing the relationship between love and addiction can be usefully teased out. Consequently, scientists have begun to draw a number of parallels between the naturally rewarding phenomena associated with human love and the artificial stimulation afforded by the use of addictive substances such as alcohol, heroin, or cocaine (see Frascella et al. The involvement of similar neurochemicals and neural activities in processes associated with addiction has already been well established ( Blum, Chen, et al. These reactions involve such compounds as dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin, and serotonin and recruit brain regions known to play a role in the development of trust, the creation of feelings of pleasure, and the signalling of reward ( Esch and Stefano 2005). Taken together, these studies suggest that the subjective state (or states) of “being in love” is intimately tied to characteristic biochemical reactions occurring within the brain. The past decade has seen a dramatic increase in published studies on the neurobiology and neurochemistry of romantic love (for overviews, see Savulescu and Sandberg 2008 Earp, Sandberg, and Savulescu 2012). So numerous are the superficial similarities between addictive substance use and love- and sex-based interpersonal attachments, from exhilaration, ecstasy, and craving, to irregular physiological responses and obsessive patterns of thought, that a number of scientific theorists have begun to argue that both sorts of phenomena may rely upon similar or even identical psychological, chemical, and neuroanatomical substrates (e.g., Insel 2003 Fisher, Brown, Aron, Strong, and Mashek 2010 Burkett and Young 2012). Surely it is all just hyperbole and poetic license? So it might seem absurd on its face to suggest that there could be a real similarity between lovers and “genuine” addicts. By contrast, nobody yearns to become addicted to heroin (for example), or cigarettes, or slot machines. Nevertheless, although we do sometimes use the language of addiction when referring to love, there is at least one major feature that distinguishes love from the kinds of substance-based addictions typically described in the psychological and medical literature: nearly everyone aspires to fall in love at least once in their life. These phenomena-including cycles of alternating ecstasy and despair, desperate longing, and the extreme and sometimes damaging thoughts and behaviors that can follow from love’s loss-bear a resemblance to analogous phenomena associated with more “conventional” addictions like those for drugs, alcohol, or gambling. We may even become depressed, or withdrawn from society ( Mearns 1991). When relationships come to an unwanted end, we feel pain, grief, and loss. In 2011, over 10% of murders in the United States were committed by the victim’s lover ( FBI 2011). ![]() In the worst case, they can become deadly. Lovers can become distracted, unreliable, unreasonable, or even unfaithful. Other times, love’s pull is so strong that we might follow it even to the point of hardship or personal ruin ( Earp, Wudarczyk, Sandberg, and Savulescu 2013). When our feelings are returned, we might feel euphoric. Love can be thrilling, but it can also be perilous. Contemporary film expresses a similar sentiment: as Jake Gyllenhaal’s character famously says in Brokeback Mountain, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” And everyday speech, too, is rife with such expressions as “I need you” and “I’m addicted to you.” These widely-used phrases capture what many people know first-hand: that when we are in love, we feel an overwhelmingly strong attraction to another person-one that is persistent, urgent, and hard to ignore. ![]() Ovid was the first to proclaim: “I can’t live with or without you” ( Amores III, xi, 39)-a locution made famous to modern ears by the Irish band U2. Throughout the ages love has been rendered as an excruciating passion. ![]()
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